Scaffolding…TRUST…Elephant

Suppose you discovered there was an elephant in the room and it’s been there a long time.  The question is why didn’t you see it?  The question is why didn’t you smell it?  The question is why didn’t you bump into it?

That elephant (yes I love the metaphors) may even be there as a means to protect you or block your view from what you are not ready to handle yet.

What if the elephant moves from the room and there you find the information that has been hidden for a long time? What if the scaffolding comes down and reveals distrust? 

Losing trust in a relationship can cause a tremendous amount of grief.  Similar to the stages of grief related to losing a loved one, losing trust in a relationship can cause the same stages to be experienced.

Denial, anger, bargaining, and even depression and acceptance.

After going through the stages, it is important to see that the key to restoring trust is to forgive.

Forgiveness releases you from pain and anger. Sometimes we end up wearing those old feeling of hurts like a badge of self-righteousness.  However, in order to tear down that scaffolding, we have to realize that when we carry that load around, it just weighs us down, as it gets heavier and heavier.  Let go of the hurt.  Letting go of the hurt and resentments is the first step in rebuilding trust.

The process takes time and there will be times when similar circumstances will bring that old pain to the forefront again.  Yes, that anger may say, why can’t I punish that person; why can’t I hurt that person that hurt me?

It is in that moment we must remind ourselves that we no longer live in the past but in the present.  Learn from the past, make peace with past but do not live in the past.

Forgiveness tears down the scaffolding and propels you back into the present rather than living in the past.

I could continue on and on with this but instead I will end here for now and I welcome your comments.

SharB~TTSD
#TakeTheScaffoldingDown